My partner Sunaina and I had been married for about a year when we almost got divorced over shower curtains.

Looking back, it was the dumbest hill to die on — these were the GUEST shower curtains!

And they went downstairs — we wouldn’t even see them most days!

But neither one of us wanted to back down.

“Why can’t she let me choose what I want for once?” I grumbled to myself.

“Is this what our marriage is going to look like? What I want never matters?” Sunaina thought (she later told me).

The stalemate lasted for weeks (it might’ve been days but it sure FELT like weeks), and we barely talked to each other.

Sunaina was certain that this was the end of our marriage…

Until she found a shower curtain we could both tolerate (it had dancing rain drops).

It sounds ridiculous right!?

What sane couple would tiptoe to the edge of divorce over shower curtains?

But the reality is that this happens all the time — even for couples who deeply love each other.

Because it’s natural to wonder, if we can’t figure out “small” stuff like this, how can we work together on the big stuff?

For us it was shower curtains, but for you it might be the dishes, or what to do on the weekends.

And now that I’m a relationship coach, I’ve worked with lots of couples in similar situations.

So I’ve learned the truth: there’s no difference between “small” and “big” disagreements.

What matters is whether you and your partner can disagree and still love and trust each other.

Because when you can, you’ll find a way to work together (without worrying about divorce)…

Whether you’re deciding what to make for dinner, or deciding to move for a new job.

Sunaina and I didn’t know how to do that when we disagreed on our shower curtains.

But now we know, and it’s one of the most valuable things I teach couples.

If you’re ready to be a team with your partner on the big and small stuff, send me a message.

-Matt

P.S. Grab my free guide to getting your partner to open up with one heartfelt conversation.