Dreams can be scary

Last weekend, my partner Sunaina and I were talking about our dream life together.

“Talking about my dreams feels scary,” she said “It feels like I’m asking for too much.”

That took me back.

“I hope you can remember that I’m doing my best,” she added.

I felt a flood of love and care for Sunaina.

She was reminding me that thinking about your dreams — let alone sharing them with someone else — is an act of courage.

It’s a tacit admission that things are missing from your life.

And it reminded me of times when I was too hurt and scared to dream.

When Covid shut everything down in 2020, there was a period where I was laid off, our house flooded and required costly repairs (revealing the presence of lead and other harmful materials), and then our daughter was born.

I was a nervous wreck doing a poor impression of a functioning person.

If someone had asked me about my dream life then, I would’ve punched them in the throat.

I’m exaggerating (I think) but my conversation with Sunaina reminded me that there are many, many steps to building your dream relationship and dream life.

After our daughter was born, it took three years before I felt like I could dream again.

So if you’re going through a hard time right now, and it feels like the only thing you’re capable of doing is a poor impression of a functioning person…

I want to remind you that you’re doing your best.

And right now that might not feel like much…

But eventually, when you’re ready, your best will feel like much, much more.

-Matt

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