I've been hurting a lot lately, and so has my partner Sunaina. 

We have a lot of big decisions to make about our future and how we want to live as a family.

Sometimes I feel like I'm being crushed under the weight of these decisions. 

What if we get it wrong?

If we screw it all up, can we still be happy?

Can we still give our daughter the beautiful, loving childhood that she deserves?

It would be easy for me to blame Sunaina for these scary feelings I'm going through, just as it would be easy for Sunaina to blame me. 

To be honest, sometimes we do blame each other (and ourselves).

“Why can't you do this!?" or "If you had only done this instead," we'll say.

And what brings us back to feeling like a team -- a family -- is that we share our fears and hurts with each other. 

Because when we deeply understand each other, it's clear that I'm not the cause of Sunaina's pain and she is not the cause of mine. 

We both want to predict the future and know the "right" decisions that will give us the safety, freedom, and ease that we desperately want. 

But we can't predict the future, and so we just have to try our best. 

And sometimes, like right now, that is scary and painful.

And all we can do is face that together.

-Matt

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