Relationships feel like scary, complicated things but they’re really pretty simple.

As long as most of the time you’re open and honest about what you need from your partner…

And you do your best to support your partner and yourself…

That’s pretty much all you can do!

If you and your partner consistently do these things, I can almost guarantee that you will both feel loved, supported, and fulfilled in your relationship.

Simple, right?

But even if relationships are simple, they’re not necessarily EASY.

Because after working with countless couples, I’ve learned that the biggest obstacle to building a loving, fulfilling relationship is actually fear.

Fear that being open and honest with your partner will hurt them.

Fear that taking care of yourself will disappoint your partner.

Fear that giving your partner what they need means that you won’t get what you need.

But the truth is that these fear aren’t usually based in reality, they’re the cumulation of the stories you learned growing up and your experiences with past partners.

Most people don’t even realize that these fears are guiding their actions, and in many cases stopping them from doing the things they want.

This is why you can feel too scared to ask your partner for help with the kids, even though you desperately need it.

It’s why you don’t take your partner out to dinner and dancing when you know how much they love it.

This is why your relationship can feel complicated and overwhelming, even though you deeply love your partner.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

If you’re ready to stop letting fear hold you back from a more loving and fulfilling relationship, the first step is to become aware of your fear.

To do that, think about something that feels complicated in your relationship.

Consider, WHY does this thing feel complicated?

Is it because it’s actually complicated, or does it bring up a fear of something scary that COULD happen?

Whatever comes up, try to sit with that feeling. Allow yourself to feel it.

The more comfortable you are experiencing that feeling, the less scary it will be.

And the less control it will have on your actions.

This is the first step toward making your relationship feel simple AND easy.

And if you’re ready for the next step, reply to this email.

-Matt