Steve Jobs taught me how to follow my heart

It’s graduation season, which reminds me of advice that Steve Jobs once gave me.

He wasn’t talking to me, exactly, but I was there, quietly sweating in my cap and gown, when he gave the Stanford University commencement speech in 2005. 

“Remembering that you are going to die,” he said, “is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

I was 22 years old when he said that. I was *certain* that I had a long, happy life ahead of me and many decades left to follow my heart.

Now I’m 40, and I recently had a cancerous tumor removed, just like Steve Jobs did when he gave his speech.

His words hit differently now.

I’m more aware of my inevitable death than ever before, and it’s often terrifying.

Every time I see a doctor (which is frequently), a voice in my head tells me that they’re going to find more cancer.

I told my therapist about this fear. I wanted her to tell me that it was all in my head. That I was safe. That I still had a long, happy life with Sunaina and our daughter waiting for me, just as I’d predicted at my graduation.

My therapist didn’t say any of that. Her family has also suffered from cancer, so she knows the truth: None of us knows how much time we have left.

Steve Jobs understood this too. And he shared how he remembered to follow his heart.

“For the past 33 years,” he said, “I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

Right now my heart is in teaching others how to use empathy. I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else. 

But when my three-year-old daughter crashes into my legs, I only want to play with her. 

I could lock my door and tell her I’m busy. But my heart knows the truth: My emails don’t care how long I’m gone, but my daughter does. And she will never be this small and carefree again.

So I make time for my little girl whenever I can.

Time and tragedy teaches us all that tomorrow is not guaranteed.

So what are you going to do today to follow your heart?

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