Sunaina and I celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary last week. Six years doesn’t get you a special Hallmark card (I checked), but it’s long enough to make a few observations about what a long-term relationship can look like.

Observation 1: We take turns supporting each other

Sunaina and I rarely contribute exactly 50/50 on a daily basis, because we each have our own challenges. Sometimes Sunaina has the strength and energy to support me and sometimes it’s the way around. Brené Brown talked about this recently and we’ve found it to be true for us too.

Observation 2: We’ve influenced each other *a lot*

Sunaina dresses more like me, and I try not to step on bugs anymore. We also sneeze and cough the same way now. I’m not sure how that happened. On a deeper level, we share more values now than at the beginning of our relationship. For example, I care about my impact on the environment much more than I used to, and Sunaina understands that it’s OK to relax and enjoy herself every once in a while :)

Observation 3: We don’t share everything

I talk sports with my brother and dad, and Sunaina watches dramas without me. It’s a little disappointing that we can’t share everything we like, but it’s also a relief to enjoy some hobbies without having to coordinate with each other.

Observation 4: We still fight

Sometimes I worry that people think that Sunaina and I agree on everything and never fight. Oh no no no. We fight and disagree as much as the next couple. But we’ve started seeing fights like a check engine light. They don't mean our relationship is broken, just that something COULD break down if we don’t address the underlying issue. So then we address it. Until the next fight lol.

Observation 5: Having a kid makes life more stressful

Having a kid is probably a lot like being a stalker. Because we are *obsessed* with our toddler. Who did she play with at school? Has she eaten any vegetables? Where did she just go?!? This focus makes the smallest things feel like A BIG DEAL. She wasn’t able to nap today? Stressful. Someone spoke to her using judgments? Stressful. Having a kid is stressful. Who knew?

Now it’s your turn, what are your relationship observations? Or which of ours resonate with you?

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