What ‘I can handle it’ really means

This message is ESPECIALLY for you husbands out there.

If you ask your partner for something and they say, “OK, I can handle it.” That does NOT mean they are giving you permission to do whatever you want.

I used to assume that!

I’d ask my partner Sunaina if I could work late while she did dinner and bedtime for our daughter.

“Sure, I can handle it,” she’d say, even though I knew she’d also worked all day and likely needed a break.

Then I'd come home to see her tired and exhausted and still doing her best to take care of everyone.

I'd feel guilty, then remind myself, "But she said it was OK."

But after helping dozens of couples learn how to understand each other better, I now know the truth…

Which is “I can handle it,” is an indirect way of saying, "I'm willing to do this for you, but it's gonna cost me.”

Now when I hear this phrase from Sunaina, I know it’s time to make a decision: Is what I want to do important and necessary enough to put another burden on her?

Because if your partner says this to you, they are saying that they care about your needs and what you want SO MUCH that they’re willing to make this sacrifice for you.

But only if you really need it.

So remember to respect your partner's needs and well-being as you decide what to do.

You both deserve that.

-Matt