Why are you in your relationship?
Have you thought about WHY you’re in your relationship?
It’s a difficult question to answer, but it’s worth thinking about.
Because when you know why you're in a relationship and why you care about it, then you're more likely to find the patience and energy to show up the way you want to.
Even when things get messy and hard, which is like all the time.
Some of my clients have told me that thinking about their wedding vows helps.
Because they'll remember how they promised their partner till death do us part, and they’ll remember how seriously they take that vow.
And that helps them find the strength to be a little more patient and a little more understanding when things get heated.
Before my first date with my partner Sunaina, I remember thinking to myself, “I really want to know what it feels like to put my entire heart into a relationship.”
I wanted to know that I gave my relationship my absolute best effort, even knowing that I would almost certainly be hurt and that things might not work out.
And I believe that this mindset allowed me to get to where I am now – where my relationship is one of the things I most cherish in my life.
Don’t get me wrong, my relationship is still super messy and super challenging at times, but it's also incredibly fulfilling.
And having that commitment from the beginning – knowing why I was willing to put my heart into this relationship – has helped me choose to have hard conversations when it sometimes feels easier to walk away.
So I invite you to think about your why: Why are you in your relationship?
Don’t just think about what you want to offer someone else, but consider, what are you getting out of it? What experience do you want?
Because if you can understand and remember that, it will help you show up the way you want to show up, even when things feel hard.