You are not a hypocrite
Being a hypocrite in a relationship usually means having double standards.
It’s when you tell your partner to eat healthy when you eat a pizza at work.
Or when you get mad at your partner for not throwing the trash, when you haven't done the laundry like you said you would.
I used to think this stuff was hypocritical too.
But after helping lots of people learn how to understand themselves and their partners, I don’t believe hypocrisy is a real thing anymore.
Now I believe that calling someone a hypocrite is basically an admission that you don't understand what's going on.
It’s another way of saying, "I don't understand why you’re doing this."
Becaue the reality is that there is a reason for every behavior. Sometimes many reasons.
And when you know those reasons, it's like a little light bulb goes off in your head: “Ah, I get it. I get what's going on here.”
And when you understand why something happened, you don’t feel like you have to judge it anymore.
That doesn’t mean you have to agree with the behavior, or want to encourage it. It's just you accepting that this is the way things are right now.
And a magical thing happens when you accept things as they are: You gain the ability to take action and move on with your life.
Listen to my latest podcast episode to hear more about this, including:
How hypocrisy harms your relationship
How to break free of judgment
How to stop eating pizza at work :)
Click here to listen to the full episode (12 minutes) on Spotify.
-Matt