The other day, my partner Sunaina asked me for help.

"What!?!" I shouted back.

"Where's the small pot?" she asked.

I stomped over to the kitchen and pointed to the pot behind her: "There!"

I stomped back to what I was doing without saying another word.

Meanwhile in my head I was wondering, "What the heck is wrong with me???"

Why couldn't I just help my partner like a sane, normal person?

If you ever treat your partner rudely for no apparent reason, then you might feel disappointed in yourself the way I did. 

And you might also start to wonder, "What is wrong with me?"

I'm here to tell you that there is NOTHING wrong with you.

The truth is that there is ALWAYS a reason for your frustration and anger -- in fact there might be MANY reasons.

Later that morning, for example, I realized that I had been going through a rough time when my partner asked for my help:

• I was late for an appointment

• I was hungry

• I was tired

• I couldn't see well (my new contacts weren't fitting)

• My daughter had just yelled at me

None of these factors by themselves were an emergancy, but all together they had felt overwhelming. 

And the reality is that when you feel overwhelmed, it's almost impossible to act like a "sane, normal person."

I didn't act the way I wanted to that morning, but that didn't mean I was a bad partner, or a bad father, or a bad person. 

I was just having a crummy morning.

And I was doing my best.

So the next time you have a crummy time and you don't act the way you want to, I hope you can remember that you were still doing your best. 

Sometimes your best is pretty awesome. 

And sometimes your best means that you're just trying to get by. 

-Matt

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