6 steps to a more exciting marriage

Say goodbye to boring

March 18, 2025

In partnership with

One of the trickiest parts of marriage is when things are “fine” but not good.

You’re not fighting, but you’re also not really talking.

It’s peaceful. But also… stale.

And while that might not sound like a red flag, it can feel unsettling — like you and your husband are slowly drifting apart.

Until one day, you realize it’s been weeks (or longer) since you last felt close.

As a marriage coach (and a husband), here’s exactly what I’d do if my marriage felt stuck in a rut.

First, I’d ask myself: What’s going on in life right now?

Are we exhausted? Stressed? Dealing with a big change?

Because sometimes, the problem isn’t the marriage — it’s life.

And knowing that helps me be kinder to both of us.

Next, I’d get honest: Is this just a passing slump that’ll fix itself once we get more sleep?

Or has it been like this for a while — long enough that it’s time to shake things up?

If it’s the second one, it’s go time.

Maybe she’s noticed the distance, or maybe she’s been too busy to think about it.

Either way, it’s time to have a meaningful conversation to learn what’s on her mind and how she’s been feeling.

You don’t need a dramatic gesture to shake things up and feel closer.

Just one small change — something easy and fast, like a:

Anything to break up the same-old, same-old.

Next, I’d say to my wife, "I feel like we need something to look forward to. Want to plan something fun?"

Something we’re both excited about, like a:

Whatever you choose, plan it within the next week or two.

One fun thing is great.

But if I want to turn these changes into a regular thing…

Every week I’d schedule time to talk plus a small activity, then plan something bigger every month.

That’s what I’d do.

You don’t necessarily need to call up a counselor if your marriage is growing cobwebs.

Because a handful of small moves can make a big impact.

And make your marriage feel closer and more exciting than before.