How parents can stop arguing about how to raise their child

Deciding how to raise a child can be a sensitive and scary subject, especially when couples don't see eye to eye and argue about it.

If you can relate to this, then here's a way to stop arguing about how to raise your child — without giving up what you want.

First, if you have an idea of how you want to raise your child and your husband isn't on board, think about WHY you want to raise your child this way.

What is it that you want your child to be able to do when they grow up?

I was a shy kid growing up, so I've always wanted my daughter to be confident and believe in herself.

When you know your answer, ask your husband the same question: “What do you want our child to be able to do when they grow up?”

Their answer is probably going to be different from yours!

They might say, “I want our kid to be tough and resilient.”

And the reality is that teaching your kid one skill or trait doesn't stop them from learning another one.

So it's possible for you and your husband to both get what you want, and this exercise can help make that clear.

Ask your husband, “Can we figure out a way to raise our child so they can do both of these things?”

Chances are the answer will be yes.

Now when you have this conversation about how to raise your child, you've already reframed it.

You’re no longer arguing about who gets to decide what to do — instead you're discussing how you can work together to honor what you both want for your child.