What you really want from your partner

I want you to think of something that you really, really want your partner to do for you. 

It could be anything – maybe it’s doing the dishes, or giving you a big hug, or watching a TV show together. 

Imagine specifically, what show are you watching together? How long is that hug? How many dishes are they washing?

And now imagine how it would feel if your partner did this for you.

Would you feel loved? Would you feel cared for and supported? Would you feel partnership with them? 

Hold all of this in your mind and heart: the vision of your partner doing this thing that you really, really want from them, and the feelings that come up when you imagine them doing it.

And now I have a question for you: Have you ever asked your partner to do this for you? 

I’m willing to bet the answer is “no.”

I’ve talked to a lot of people lately who have told me how frustrated they feel, and how angry and disappointed they are in their partner – because their partner won’t do this one thing.

And when I asked, “Have you asked your partner to do this for you?” They almost all said no.

You might think that your partner should love you so deeply that they should know what you want without you having to ask. 

Or that you asking for what you want will cause their gesture to make you feel less loved and cared for.

But the truth is that most people don’t know what their partners want – no matter how much they love each other – without hearing that request. 

And when your partner does this thing that means so much to you, you’re still going to get all those warm feelings.

So I invite you to ask your partner to do this thing that means so much to you. And don’t hold back on the details – the more specific your request, the more likely your partner will be able to do it.

After you do this, leave a comment and tell us what happened and how it feels.

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