Relationships are scary

Sunaina and I were at a coffee shop this morning, talking about some of the posts and emails I’ve been sharing lately. 

“Sometimes when you say that every relationship goes through challenges,” Sunaina was telling me, “it’s almost like you’re saying that the challenges shouldn’t be scary, or aren’t a big deal.”

She’s right, of course.

Relationship challenges ARE scary. And they’re a big deal. 

And I can see how my attempts to normalize relationship challenges might also give the impression that I’m trivializing them as well.

But the truth is that being in a relationship is probably one of the scariest and most stressful things you’ll do in your life, and few things carry the same stakes. 

That’s partly why relationships can feel so scary. 

At times you might wonder, “If we can’t figure this out, was all our time together for nothing?”

Or even worse: “Will I have to meet someone new and go through this all over again?”

I’ve had similar thoughts, and so has Sunaina. 

And just because many of us share these fears doesn’t make them any less valid. 

I do my best to offer hope and strategies to move past challenges because I believe everyone deserves to learn how to build a close, loving, trusting relationship. 

That’s one reason why I’ll always keep this blog free for everyone.

Another reason is because I understand how scary and lonely it can be to feel stuck in a relationship that’s not where you want it to be.

If you’re reading this and feeling sad and scared about your relationship, I want you to know that I see you. 

It’s OK to feel sad and scared. 

Your relationship doesn’t feel scary or hard because you’re screwing up, or because there’s something wrong with you.

It feels scary and hard because being in a relationship can challenge beliefs you’ve held for a long time and have helped you feel safe. 

That IS scary!

Regardless of where you are in your relationship right now, I know that you’re doing your best, which is all you can do. 

You’re doing a great job :)

And if you’re ready for more support, I’m here to help.

Subscribe to our Grow More Joy newsletter to learn more ways to strengthen your relationship.

Matt Marquez

Relationship coaching helping people love their partners and themselves again.

http://www.growmorejoy.com
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Why nothing you do is enough for your partner

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My birthday epiphany